thinking

so many things are going through my head currently. a lot of it concerns a certain person. she knows who she is and she knows why i cant stop thinking. i wish that i could just turn my mind off and make it all go away. make the way i care so deeply for her go away and i cant. i cant make that go away. i cant. i dont know how. she wants something else and that isnt me. its hard and it hurts and the only thing i can think about is her and how much i just want things to go back to how they were. i just want things to be back to what they were and where they were. over and over again i go over what happened and how we were and i cant for the life of me find a reason. it just isnt there. there isnt a reason for what happened.
it is really hard for me to focus currently. i cant seem to think of anything but here. i cant seem to get her off my mind. i dont know why i have been thinking about her so much. i just want to stop thinking about her. i want to be able to function with out her in my thoughts but it just has not be possible. i just want to be able to just be friends with her. to not have the overwhelming need to touch her. i dont mean anything dirty by any means. i just want to be able to hold her hand, touch her skin, make some kind of contact with her.

i just want contact