breakable

so i have learned over the years that people are breakable. that small and big things will break people. you know the say "stick and stones may break my bones but words will not hurt me". this is crap. sticks and stones do break peoples bones but words hurt way more. words are the things that leave wounds that do not heal. i hate to be so dramatic but sometimes it is hard. this weekend i felt the first burn of my new relationship. i am not sure how to feel currently. i thought that she was going to end things with me but instead she does not know what she wants. i am not sure what is worse. not being wanted or not know whether you are wanted or not. i realize i cant make her make up her mind but it hurts to know that she does not really know what she wants. i know how i feel about her. that i care about her and that i want to be with her. i know that she makes me happy like no one ever has. i know that i would do anything to make her happy. i know that if she asked of me i would surrender. and yet she cant figure out if she wants to be with me. she doesnt know if my nature fits with hers. she cant figure out if we go together. well, crap. she and i fit together. we make sense together. she may not see it but i do. i have never been happier with her. she worries that i am too dramatic, that stress over my job too much, that over all we are too different. and well none of that matters. what matters is how we work together. what matters is that we make eachother happy. that is what matters not the other stuff. i am sorry for not loving my job right now. i am sorry for how i feel but that is how i feel. i am dramatic and emotional and passionate. i overreact. i get angry. i defend who i am. that is just who i am. i know that you like this about me because you have told me so. in my heart of hearts i know how i feel about you. i just hope you can figure out how you feel about me. i hope that you can tell me that you care about me no matter what. that you like for me for me. that you will take all my flaws and all my broken pieces and just take me as i am. i am however going to qoute another one of ingrid michalson's songs.

breakable

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

You fasten my seatbelt because it is the law.
In your two ton death trap I finally saw.
A piece of love in your face that bathed me in regret.
Then you drove me to places I'll never forget.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls-
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls-
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

i will take you as you are. i just hope that you do the same.