letter to the ex

dear you

so i have thought and thought about this for a really long time and the more that i think about it the more that i want to say these things to you. for the three years we were together you treated me like shit. i told you how much i loved you and you told me that you werent ready. i told you how important you were to me and you said that you had better things to do. i wish you knew how much you hurt me. how much you effected me and not in a good way. you broke me down and i will never be the same. but for the first time in a long time since you i am starting to feel whole again. You say that you want to be my friend and that you deserve better than what i have been treating you but you seem to forget how you treated me for three years plus the year we werent "together" after that. you have forgotten how many tears were spilled for you. how many times i spent wishing you were with me and you had better things to do. always better things to do that werent me and you deserve better? you deserve to be treated better? how so? because for the first time in almost five years you are being nice to me. putting me before everyone else.....oh wait there isnt anyone else. i am the only one that still gives a shit about you and yet you deserve better. you have never said anything to me about how much you hurt me and about how sorry you should be. not once have you said that "i am sorry i put everything and everyone before you. i am sorry that i betrayed a friend and swept you out from under him. im sorry that it would have been better for you to not be with me. im sorry that i broke your heart." not once did you ever say anything like that to me. not once did you ever tell me that. not once did you ever let me actually get over you. everytime i thought i was over you, you would show up with your "heys" and your "hey i miss you" i am so sick of those. so yea i am done. done caring about everything about you! so over caring about you. I hope that you get how much you have hurt me and how hard it is to say that i dont want you in my life. but i cant have you in my life because it hurts to think about all that you did to me.

a